I have always been under the impression that there were two
kinds of people – night people and day people. I have functioned under the idea
that while I am a day person that thrives in the morning light but fades
quickly as the sun sets, the Hubs and the daughter were night people. I grew up
with a day person and a night person for parents and I just thought that that
was how people worked. That it was something in the brain, that it was their
normal.
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| 9:30 AM - Sleeping soundly. The day is practically gone. |
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| This is not normal. |
I have been doing a lot of research on sleep patterns and
have discovered that this sleepy tendency that she possesses has less to do
with genetics and more to do with the fact that I have never sleep trained her.
I got to tell you, it kind of stings to know that you are to blame for things
that have gone wrong with your kid, especially when you pride yourself on being
able to get your child to do a lot of things pretty easily.
When she was an infant she slept and nursed on command. If
the Hubs let her sleep all day, I just dealt with the repercussions the next
day. When she started daycare, things at home were still very much the same.
Daycare had a schedule, they had discipline, but I was a working momma with
very little time with her baby. No schedule!
Just sleep when you are tired!
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| This kid is not sleeping. Not even a little. |
She slept solely in our bed until she was two. She had a
crib. It was what we used to hold her stuffed animals. When she moved into her
own room, her own bed, things went from bad to worse. She would fight. Every
single night she would fight. And it was hard. I used every Super Nanny trick I
could find.
No eye contact? Check!
No raised voices? Check!
No extra snuggles, extra love, or extra cups of water?
Check! Check! Check!
Eventually she would scream herself to sleep and, yet,
within an hour of me lying down in my own bed? There she was, screaming at me
about water or potty or the “debil”. And I would scoop her up and toss her
between myself and the Hubs in an effort to just get some flippin’ sleep.
Other nights I would give up the fight. I was too tired or I
didn't feel well or something and just didn’t want to do it. So, I would give
in and lay in her bed next to her only to wake up hours later with a crick in
my neck, makeup slathered on my pillow smooshed face, and a wide awake
Supergirl smacking me in the face and talking a thousand miles a minute. I
would take her to bed with me, knowing that I was setting a bad precedent,
knowing that in the long run this, this was the wrong way to go. Or I would
just take her to bed with me when it was time to go rather than even begin the
fight in the first place. Or the two of us would crash on the couch in front of
the TV (cause that’s healthy, right?)
So, here we are at 5 years and 3 months (almost) old and I
still cannot get my child to go to sleep at a normal hour. Last night, I had a
plan. After a week of research and talking myself into this, I was ready. I had
my arsenal prepared.
7 PM: TV off. Sit and talk to Supergirl about her day.
Discuss the importance of the letter Z (the class letter of the week). Practice
writing the letter Z.
7:30 PM: Shower. Sing silly shower songs and make fun of my
vulva and my lumpy butt (cause that never gets old. Never.)
8:00 PM: Brush and braid hair. Put on pajamas. Pick a book.
8:15 PM: Story time.
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| LOVE these books. Seriously. Order them now. I'll wait. |
8:30 PM: Lights out, good night
8:55 PM: “Momma, I gotta potty.”
9:07 PM: “Momma, I need water.”
9:13 PM: “Girl, I know you are behind me, I can hear you
breathing. Get in bed.”
9:19 PM: Carry crying child back to bed, no eye contact.
9:36 PM: Carry screaming child back to bed, no eye contact.
9:37 PM: Stand crying in the bathroom because child just
stabbed me in the eyeball. Search for signs of internal bleeding. Count to ten.
9:42 PM: Idle threat
9:49 PM: Bigger threat
10:07 PM: Hubs comes home. Child ramps up screaming, this
time for “Daddddddy”
10:13 PM: Carry daddy screaming child back to bed. Actually
say, “I will give you something to cry…” until I realize what I am saying and
storm out of room.
It keeps going like this until 11:45 PM.
11:45 PM.
I knew that this wouldn’t be easy and I am glad that I made
the decision to do this 5 months before she is scheduled to start kindergarten,
but is it really this hard? Do other people have these issues? Should I shift
her back even earlier?
What do you do to get your kid to sleep?
I thought my son would never sleep in his own room. I read every book on child sleep training, tried almost all of it (no help). Finally I paid big bucks to speak with a child psychologist who specialized in sleep issues. She told me my child was sensitive to changes and I had to only change one thing at a time. *sigh*
ReplyDeleteFirst I just got him to fall asleep in his bed with me in it. Whatever happened the rest of the night didn't matter yet. We progressd to him falling asleep with me in the room, not the bed...then I would check on him every five minutes. Eventually I would tell him how tired mommy was and that he had to let me sleep. I think it took me a month or two, but he mostly sleeps all night in his own room. I'd say he wakes me up at night twice a week or so. Good luck! Don't give up!