Funny Girl

The things that Z says are always pretty funny and several people have told me that I should write it down so that I can remember it as she gets older.

Z likes to play with a miniature measuring tape. When she sees boys that she thinks are interesting, she attempts to measure them. The boys typically will take an interest in her measuring tape and measure her.

Proudly they will announce, "You are 48."

Z will snap around, snatch the measuring tape and declare, "No, I am 3 and a half." Then she will stomp off.

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Z likes to lick things. Everything. 

Saturday night as we were helping a friend unpack, I see her lift a picture out of a box, lick the front of it and place it back into the box.

I wait until my friend finishes her story and calmly walk over to the box. 

"Show me what you just licked", I demand as my child attempts to hide. She moves very slowly across the kitchen to me. 

"Show it to me."

My friend is slowly dying, clutching the counter in gasps of exhausted laughter and tears. 

Since my attention has been averted Z has run for cover. I find the picture. I hand it to my friend.

"It's been licked. I am sorry. I don't know if you want to keep this."

She sits down on the floor, alternately weeping and laughing. "How do you keep a straight face?"

"I wait until she goes to bed. I laugh myself to sleep."

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Z has decided that she would like a baby sister and a baby brother. The other night a friend and her daughter met us at the mall for dinner and conversation (they have a fenced in children's play area, so we can actually talk while the kids run themselves to exhaustion). We handed both of the girls a penny to toss into the fountain with a wish.

"I wish, I wish, dear God, please put my baby brother and baby sister in my momma's belly. Amen." She tossed the penny as far into the fountain as she could. 

The next night, she explained to me what I am doing wrong. "Momma, you get married and then you have a baby."

"Yes, that's right."

"So, we need two more husbands. Because we want two more babies."

"What? I have a perfectly good husband."

"He already has a child."

"What kind of husbands should we get?"

"I think you should get a pink one to match you, and a Chinese one." 

"A Chinese one? Why?"

"I have always wanted my baby sister to be Chinese."