In The Between

My family seems to function in the Between.

Between a rock and a hard place.

Between jobs.

Between ages.

Between now and Christmas.

And it is usually me that announces, "This is our reality right now and here is what we are gonna do to fix it".

It's not always the right decision, but sometimes it's the only decision to get from point A to point B.

I don't like the unsteadiness and uncertainty that the Between represents, it is scary and oftentimes to big for me to deal with. So I focus on now and on numbers and fixing the problem.

We seem to get stuck in the Whens.

When I get a job.

When we are both working full-time.

When Z gets older.

When the house gets cleaned and organized.

I just can't live like that. I can't find comfort in the Whens because there is always something around the bend.

Z likes to live in the yesterday. It's always yesterday. Unless it is tomorrow. Tomorrow is her When.

I want to teach her to appreciate the now, even if it is the Between. I want to teach her to take charge of the now, so that she won't ever have to deal with the uncertainty of the Between.

But first I have to teach myself to do that.