I am a stalker.
Not a real life stalker, I don't travel crazy distances wearing diapers to spy on people - not even the Hubs (although, there was a time there between 18-20 that I may have sat outside of people's jobs, but that was a long time ago and I am not that girl anymore).
I am a cyber stalker.
I peruse the Facebook pages of acquaintances (and sometimes their friends). I giggle over silly pictures of their children or cats. I read their status updates and comments to others.
I do the same on Twitter (when I am even on Twitter, which is rare because I just don't think that I am important enough to post 140 characters randomly through the day about what I am doing or fixin' to do or what I am thinking. I understand that it is a useful marketing tool for celebrities, but I am not a celebrity so it is not really a vital element to my day. And can't I just put it as my Facebook status? Who really reads the tweets anyway? Besides me, that is.)
My most effective stalking comes in the way of reading blogs. Blogs that I feel are so much better than my own, humorous blogs that literally make me laugh out loud in my lonely little office, blogs about real life tragedies that rip my heart out as I read them, blogs about everyday life as a working or stay-at-home mom.
Even though these women do not know me (and maybe, rarely hear from me) they are part of my daily routine. They help me get back on the horse again day after day. They inspire me to try new things. They make me laugh when I am ready to cry or hold the good moments a little closer because you just don't how long they are going to last.
I consider these women my friends, even though we have never met in real life and they enjoy wine far more than I ever will. Maybe that is sad, but it's not like I don't have the Scare Bear, the Fairy Queen, and JoDene - they are real people that know me in the real world and know that I am not nearly as crazy as this post is making me seem.
I know how much I love comments, so it is perplexing that I do not give out more comments to the blogs I enjoy the most. I think, partly, it is that I do not want to reveal myself as the stalker that I undoubtedly am.
Just know this, blogging women that I have not freaked out thus far, if something that you say impacts me in anyway - I am posting it to my Facebook and my Twitter (even though I am pretty sure I am not using it correctly). Hopefully, it will help you reach even more readers and they will probably comment on your post. And, on the days that you don't post, I will be there reading your past comments and thinking - "Hey, I know that girl that posted on her site... I should look up her Facebook page and see what she has been up to..."
Because, after all, I am a stalker.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
On The Way To Healthy
I don't care how much I weigh. I don't care what clothes size I am and I really never have. I am fairly active, or at least I think so and for the most part I am pretty happy and content with my life.
The Hubs loves me no matter what size I am, and his only complaint about my drinking soda is how expensive my habit really was. (Make no doubts about it, it is a very expensive habit, at a buck seventy for each 20 ounce bottle and 4-6 bottles a day, I was looking at a $6-$10 a day habit.)
But in the last few years, as my health has spiraled out of control, as my chronic illness has become more and more of a burden, as I was starting to consider placing myself on disability, I have come to the realization that there is little that I can control in my life. There is actually very little that anyone with a four year old can control about the world it seems.
At any rate, I can control what goes into my body. I can control the amount of activity (or inactivity) that I participate in. I deserve more than what I have been giving myself in the last few years and it is time that I take back control.
Yesterday, I began the Atkins Diet, although I do not like calling it a diet. I am changing the way I eat and my goal is to make this a lifestyle change, not just a temporary thing that lasts until the first cold, or first day without sleep, or the first bad day.
I did well yesterday, followed the guidelines and stuck to the plan. I did have a slight nagging headache by the end of the day, but it was nothing that couldn't be cured by a couple of ibuprofen and a good night's sleep. I also noticed that there was some pretty intense cravings for an after dinner snack last night and while I did not have anything in the house that I could snack on, I was left feeling a bit unsatisfied when I went to bed.
I don't think I was really all that hungry though, I think that it may have been boredom snacking as it was getting late, I was getting sleepy, and I was trying to stay awake.
I am not doing this to lose weight, although at 231 pounds, it is a nice side effect. I am doing this so that I can feel healthy again, so that I can not be so tired when I get home from work, so that I have energy to play with my kid and do the chores. I am doing this so that I will be around for her as she gets older.
What habits have you changed since becoming a parent? Do you feel that you are living the best life that you can?
The Hubs loves me no matter what size I am, and his only complaint about my drinking soda is how expensive my habit really was. (Make no doubts about it, it is a very expensive habit, at a buck seventy for each 20 ounce bottle and 4-6 bottles a day, I was looking at a $6-$10 a day habit.)
But in the last few years, as my health has spiraled out of control, as my chronic illness has become more and more of a burden, as I was starting to consider placing myself on disability, I have come to the realization that there is little that I can control in my life. There is actually very little that anyone with a four year old can control about the world it seems.
At any rate, I can control what goes into my body. I can control the amount of activity (or inactivity) that I participate in. I deserve more than what I have been giving myself in the last few years and it is time that I take back control.
Yesterday, I began the Atkins Diet, although I do not like calling it a diet. I am changing the way I eat and my goal is to make this a lifestyle change, not just a temporary thing that lasts until the first cold, or first day without sleep, or the first bad day.
I did well yesterday, followed the guidelines and stuck to the plan. I did have a slight nagging headache by the end of the day, but it was nothing that couldn't be cured by a couple of ibuprofen and a good night's sleep. I also noticed that there was some pretty intense cravings for an after dinner snack last night and while I did not have anything in the house that I could snack on, I was left feeling a bit unsatisfied when I went to bed.
I don't think I was really all that hungry though, I think that it may have been boredom snacking as it was getting late, I was getting sleepy, and I was trying to stay awake.
I am not doing this to lose weight, although at 231 pounds, it is a nice side effect. I am doing this so that I can feel healthy again, so that I can not be so tired when I get home from work, so that I have energy to play with my kid and do the chores. I am doing this so that I will be around for her as she gets older.
What habits have you changed since becoming a parent? Do you feel that you are living the best life that you can?
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
2012 - I'm Important
It's 2012. Actually, it has been for 3 days but since the first was met with much sleeping in and laundry I figured you wouldn't necessarily care. And since the second one was met with much less sleep but even more laundry - plus a crazy awesome new blog header and design - today is technically my first day back into the blogginess of life.
I have alluded to my co-dependent tendencies and my need to take care of people great and small, capable and incapable. I resolve that this year is the year that I am important too.
I am important enough to purchase gifts for.
I am important enough to take care of.
I am important enough to treat every once in a while.
I am important enough to be healthy - spiritually, emotionally, and physically.
I am important enough to allow myself to get more sleep.
I am important enough to have a quiet time each morning.
I am important enough to learn how to sew adult clothing.
I am important enough to have pride in my talents, my gifts and myself.
I am important enough to love and be loved.
I am important enough to feel and be beautiful.
I am important enough to save money for the things that I want. Even if my visions differ from the Hubs view of our family, it does not make my dreams less worthy.
Parts of me are screaming that this is not the Christian way, that this is not what a "good" girl does. I believe that if I do not start placing importance upon myself (my sanity, my being) then it is going to be impossible for me to place the right amount of importance upon others.
What are your resolutions for 2012? Do you think you will stick to them this year?
I have alluded to my co-dependent tendencies and my need to take care of people great and small, capable and incapable. I resolve that this year is the year that I am important too.
I am important enough to purchase gifts for.
I am important enough to take care of.
I am important enough to treat every once in a while.
I am important enough to be healthy - spiritually, emotionally, and physically.
I am important enough to allow myself to get more sleep.
I am important enough to have a quiet time each morning.
I am important enough to learn how to sew adult clothing.
I am important enough to have pride in my talents, my gifts and myself.
I am important enough to love and be loved.
I am important enough to feel and be beautiful.
I am important enough to save money for the things that I want. Even if my visions differ from the Hubs view of our family, it does not make my dreams less worthy.
Parts of me are screaming that this is not the Christian way, that this is not what a "good" girl does. I believe that if I do not start placing importance upon myself (my sanity, my being) then it is going to be impossible for me to place the right amount of importance upon others.
What are your resolutions for 2012? Do you think you will stick to them this year?
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