Monday, April 16, 2012

A Hiatus, A Skirt, and Life

Hello everyone!

I know that I have not done a very good job of keeping everyone in the loop in a long, long time (other than book reviews and there are more of those coming very soon).

I apologize for the hiatus, there have been a lot of people under the opinion that I should have clammed up a bit regarding the unfortunate circumstances involving myself and the Hubs.

So I started doubting myself. And questioning the things that I was posting.

And, then, things started heating up in the office and I had too much work to do to remember to blog each day.

And too much depression and fear and worry and anger to even think about blogging once I got home.

And then it was the middle of April and I had not even told you about going on vacation.

Or the awesome skirt that I made for Supergirl to wear to the parade.

Or how great it is to sing Karaoke with the Supergirl.

And then I got to thinking, "Really? You allowed people that only know a fraction of your life to cause you to doubt the hurt, the anger, the betrayal that you feel because it offended them? Are you not allowed to feel offended? Are you not allowed to feel things and process things the only way that you know how? Are you sincerely so ill-prepared for criticism that you would shut down at the mere mention that you are in the wrong?"

So here's the thing. The Hubs is home. We are working on things. It is a daily process. There are days when it is pretty damn ugly, there are other days when it's all okay, when it is easy to forget and just have fun. More often it is days of heavy silences, bracketed by the frantic pace of two adults parenting a 4 year old.

I don't doubt that we can get through this.

Eventually. Probably.

There are just a lot of other stressors right now, preventing us from being able to completely devote ourselves to the salvation of our marriage. One of those would be lack of income, the other would be the aforementioned 4 year old. (We can't really discuss "us" with her bouncing off of the walls, and if we wait until after she is asleep, I am oftentimes too tired or angry to attempt a conversation that late. So words keep being left unspoken, phrases continue to hang in the air, like leftover streamers from a birthday party.)

So that's where I am, in case you have been wondering.

I do promise that I will be back again very soon with more information about the skirt (perhaps a tutorial?) and our adventures in road tripping (even some rules to an all-new road trip game!). Thanks for sticking it out thus far!

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