Friday, September 7, 2012

The Last Time I Thought This Much About Kool-Aid, I Was 10

The internet might just be killing me, ya'll.

All this talk about Kool-aid is driving the Hubs crazy, our household Kool-Aid consumption may be at a near-record high, and I am getting closer and closer to my wits end every time the Supergirl asks me why so many people don't like Kool-Aid.

A momma can't afford all that.

I don't even like Kool-Aid. Wanna know why?

When I was a kid, soda was deemed as a "For Grown-Ups Only" beverage, and Kool-Aid was a "For Kids Only" beverage. No matter how many times we were told the rule, or got in trouble for breaking the rule, we only wanted what we were not allowed to have. My father would lord this over our heads and get angry that we were drinking out of the 2-liter bottle that he would purchase every night on his way home from work. He tried getting a dorm fridge that he kept directly under the TV to thwart us (didn't work). He tried drawing lines on the bottle in Sharpie (didn't work). The older we got, the sneakier we got, filling cups with ice and the least amount of soda that the cup could hold so that we could have more for ourselves, purposely overfilling the cup to the brim so we would have to sip off of it to carry it to the next room.

We were terrible children. And I hate drinking Kool-Aid to this day. Plus that super awesome Kool-Aid mustache tends to stick around a lot longer than you need it to.

Going off the rule that building walls and fortresses will only make children want the coveted item more, I allow Supergirl to have the occasional soda, or sweet tea, or juice. I do not tell her that there are drinks that are just for her and drinks that are just for grown-ups. (She may have decided that beer is only for boys, but I had nothing to do with that.)

Her preference (and the Hubs) is Kool-Aid. Which brings us back to the Kool-Aid debacle of 2012.

I do not care if you like red Kool-Aid. Red Kool-Aid can be good when you are in the mood for it. It's a classic, one of the very first flavors of Kool-Aid, and while it can be a bit old-fashioned, there are times that you just need the comfort of having a nice cool glass of Red Kool-Aid. If that's your preference, then you should just drink it.

I do not care if you like blue Kool-Aid. Blue Kool-Aid has a bit more zip than red Kool-Aid and to my dying day I swear that i will think of it as the "New" Kool-Aid since it was introduced during my tween years and was a really exciting discovery for those of us that had been in the red, purple, lemonade vortex for far too long. If you rock that blue Kool-Aid and it's the only Kool-Aid for you, then go for it. Drink it up.

In 2 months, we are facing the Ultimate Red vs. Blue Drink-Off. After it is all over, we will all still be Americans, we will all still be parents doing the best that we can for our kids, we will all still be spending our days working our bottoms off (home or not) , and we will all still be scratching our heads at the popularity of Snooki and the Teen Mom franchise.

So why don't we give the Kool-Aid debate a rest for a bit, assume that there is no more arguing to do, and get back to Facebook like it used to be? I am missing all of the pictures of the interiors of your bathrooms and what you ate for dinner last night and somehow my life, well, it's no longer complete.

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