My apologies for not posting as often as I should, I haven't been able to string together words to form a sentence as of late, let alone something worthwhile to actually send out into cyber space as though it is a jewel rather than just a pity party in disguise.
Perhaps it's because Mercury is in retrograde, although what that even means I have no idea. I've never been one of the astrological idealists, so I am hesitant to mention it as fact.
Perhaps it's because, as I sit here today, it has been 60 days since I have found myself thrown to the wayside of society like so much compost and yesterday's news left to rot and stink.
Perhaps it is the unbearable heat and humidity of this summer, crushing down on me every time I walk out of my door like an additional gravity, making me long to lie on the floor to escape the reality of it all.
Whatever it is, I have been in a funk.
A funk that has been hanging over my head, causing tears to hold precariously close to the surface, ready to break free at the slightest infraction. It has not helped that the mini-tyrant, with her closed up fists and angry words, has held ready to snap at me at every turn.
I received a respite today when I received a call for an interview, a promise to present myself back unto the world, although a bit battered, humbled and nervous. A promise that I could once again find value in my purpose, drive in my step.
It is sad that I take so much stock in having a career, that being a housewife is not enough for me - I am not sure if that is society talking or myself - but I am glad to have a chance.
I have not been able to write much either. :( It is hard to think at all with someone constantly demanding your attention. Being a mom at home is the hardest thing ever. People just don't realize how draining, lonely, and yes...depressing it can be. There are good parts too of course, but it is tough. I am here for you. I need a job too, but the thought of going and dealing with a room full of little kids then coming home and doing what I do all day now is a bit overwhelming too. Hang tough. :)
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