|This would have been what I was saying before I had a relationship with God.|
I believe that God is all over this sudden change in our situation and I am okay with that.
I used to hear people say all the time, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." While there is some validity to this statement, my reply has always been, "How strong does God need me to be?".
I had an epiphany yesterday on the way to meet my family for lunch. God doesn't need me to be strong at all. He needs me to know that He is strong enough for me to lean on. Not just in the good times when it is easy to have faith, easy to be His child, and claim my faith in Him, but also in the really tough times when we don't know how we will be able to provide for ourselves and our child and have to trust that He will find a way for us.
That is not to say that there will not still be bad days. Days when all I would really like to do is curl up on the couch, throw a blanket over my head, and try to sleep my way through the really tough parts. But those bad days are not as prevalent in my life as they were before I knew God, before I had a relationship with Him. Those days when I would so easily scream and curse and rail against a maker that I didn't know, couldn't understand the reasoning. Those days that come back at me every single day as I realize how stupid and young I really was.
While today is a day that I would rather not do anything, that I am in a funk over this situation, and ready to just throw my hands in the air, instead, I will praise our God who is making changes in our life to help us, to better us, to make us stronger and more capable for His kingdom. The God of the whole universe cares about my little family and loves each one of us so much that He refuses to let us sit in stagnation.
That. Well, that is just plain amazing.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."