Monday, July 2, 2012

Pushing Limits

Since Supergirl was born, I have had a chronic illness that causes extreme abdominal pain during flares (I used to call them attacks, because that is what they are doing, attacking me, sabotaging my plans). It also causes my abdomen to become extremely distended (to the point that I may look 5-6 months pregnant) and rigid.

I have been able to control a lot of the flare-ups through diet, and then the rare few that I do get are milder than usual and can be easily dealt with with pain medication and increased water consumption.

But sometimes, sometimes, there are weekends like the one that we just had.

It started at 4:15 PM on Friday. I was at work trying to wrap up the end of the fiscal year so that I could head to my part-time at 5. Suddenly, I could no longer sit in my chair. My abdomen was incredibly distended, rock hard, and tender to the touch. Every movement caused me more pain. I was not sure that I would ever get through the next 45 minutes. I finished my work day, on my knees in front of my keyboard, rocking through the spasms of pain that ricocheted through my core, tears rolling down my face.

Even after I took my medication after I left work, I was still incredibly sore, my stomach incredibly distended.

I was in that same pain all weekend. Without relief.

But I refused to lay in bed, or on the couch and bitch and complain. I refused because I had more important things to do.

I had a husband that I had barely seen or spoken to all week, that wanted to take his wife and daughter out to dinner and movie.

I had a kid that has been dying to see a new movie. 

We had church and birthday parties to attend.

I can not stop living my life because of my disease. I can't not let my kid do all of the fun things that kids do in the summer.

It wipes me out, but it's so worth this.

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