Thursday, March 17, 2011

Being Momma

Dear Single and Stay at Home Mommas,

You kick some serious ass! I am so impressed by what you guys deal with on a day to day basis and am so grateful that I am not in your shoes.

This morning, Hubs started a new day job. It has been a long time since I have had to wake Z up, get her fed, showered, dressed, hair did and out the door by a specific time. It has been an even longer time since I have had to do that on my own.

Back when I was doing it on my own, she was small enough that people didn't care if her hair wasn't combed or if she arrived without shoes. Back then, I could dress her in the last few minutes before I had to leave (while she was still asleep), carry her out to the car, strap her in, plug a bottle in her mouth for breakfast and off we would go. Hell, back then, I had time to put on makeup and pump before I had to leave.

Now she has attitude. And opinions. And fists that hit. And a scream that could set off the smoke detector.

Z has never been a morning person, but in the last 6 months since she has left daycare? She sleeps until 11 whenever she is given the opportunity. And if not given her opportunity? You have probably heard about it. In fact, if you live in a 3 state proximity, you have probably heard it yourself.

Been outside on a nice, still morning enjoying the day that God has created when you suddenly notice that all of the birds lift out of the trees at once and fly away? It's because my kid screamed 3 states away. It may go further than that, but I haven't tested that theory.

You Stay at Home Mommas, are even more awesome because you are willing to stay in the dragon's lair with the beast ALL DAY! By YOURSELF! You should be commended that you (and presumably) your child have made it through this far alive. You have been given a gift that is far too precious to have a name to be able to do what you do day in and day out. I have been in your shoes (in small spurts that my company lovingly calls vacation, ha!) and it is no walk in the park. I will not say you "get" to stay home to a stay at home momma ever, ever again. You sacrifice day in and day out to give yourself (and your attention, your sanity, your taste in music, television shows, books, and, most likely, your food) for the love of your child. You are amazing.

I love my daughter. I am pretty sure that I can never say that enough, but I cannot stay home with her everyday until she turns 5. I am not built that way. My sanity is a thin line at best already, my nerves are completely shot, there is nothing serene or calm about me.

(If I currently watch your child in short timeframes, please do not worry. No child on the Earth has ever treated me as badly as my own. Additionally, I have found that when there is a group of kids, they mellow each other out a bit so my kid's personality does not ruin the whole batch. I do caution you that exposure to my child can be like radiation so you may need to decontaminate your child with a thorough bath and time out before they re-enter their normal lifestyle.)

Today, if you see a momma in a parking lot screaming at her kid to "Get in the damn car.", give her a warm smile, instead of the shocked or disappoving look that screams, "YOU ARE A BAD PARENT". If you see a mom trying to have a conversation at the park while her kid falls off the monkey bars, give her a heads up, instead of covering your kid's ears to the aftermath and ushering them away.

Finally, if you see a momma whose kid is hiding under the clothes rack while she is in tears desperately screaming out the kid's name and trying to find her - DO NOT HELP THE CHILD HIDE (you moronic WALMART employees!!!!).


  1. I feel your pain my friend... Madison has been trying my patience more and more everyday. Last night.... I felt the need to lock myself in the bathroom just to get away from the ma ham!

  2. Dude, the bathroom is a great idea! I walk out to the porch and count slowly to ten. She bangs on the door and screams the whole time, but there are really times that our house doesn't feel big enough for the both of us.


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