Monday, March 28, 2011

A New "Normal"

Since Hubs started his new job, Z and I have been struggling to find a new normal. Everyday it seems like there has been some obstacle, some distraction that has prevented us from being able to do things in a normal fashion.

In the last two weeks, I have dealt with Z's attitude, her rolling eyes, biting teeth and angry fists. Her refusal to stay dressed in the mornings and her absolute disregard for my authority. Her unwillingness to go to bed at night multiplied with her refusal to get out of the bed in the mornings. Her newly made decision to stop eating combined with her relentless pursuit of candy and pickles.

Life was not always this way. She has been in school before, we had a great routine established then (or am I looking at it differently now?). Life with her dad is different than life with me and she is letting me know which one of us she prefers.

With dad, there are no battles.

When she stays at home with dad, Z can watch TV, whenever, however, whatever she wants. I know that if I need to get out of the house in the morning, the TV must stay off.

When she stays at home with dad, Z can eat whatever and whenever she wants. I need her to either eat breakfast or not complain when she gets to school about what they give her.

When she stays at home with dad, Z can hang out all day in the same PJs that she wore to bed the night before or be naked. I need her to be dressed, stay dressed and be ready to leave the house.

When she stays at home with dad, Z rules the roost. She says what will be on the TV, when they will go outside, whether or not she gets dressed, whether or not she gets fed.

I do not function this way.

I want schedules, I want learning to happen. I want there to be interaction and specific times for naps and lunch and snacks. I want there to be structure.

And, as much as I love the Hubs, he is not going to give it to her.

This morning was the best morning that I have had in two weeks. I am hopeful that we are finally meshing into this new normal. She woke up when I needed her to without a fight, I was able to get her pottied, showered and dressed without drama (or additional nudity), we left the house on time, arrived to her school (early) and were even able to see S (which was awesome!!!) and B before we began our respective days.

I was early to work, I have been focused throughout the day and have actually accomplished a lot of what I was too distracted to deal with last week.

Is it too much to hope for a repeat tomorrow?

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