Monday, March 21, 2011

The Newest Diet Craze (or How To Get Your Preschooler to Eat Anything)

Introducing an awesome way to end your diet struggles.

  • Problems with will power be gone!
  • Dinnertime drama? No longer!
By following just a few simple steps you will be one your way to a new, svelte, more energetic you.

1. You will need a child between 2 and half and 3.

2. Cook a delicious, well balanced meal.

3. Do NOT offer child meal. Do NOT place a plate at the dinner table for child. (Caution - This may cause overly tired children to freak out and have a mini-tantrum. BE STRONG!!! Send the child to their room to think about their behavior. They will come crawling back. Literally.)

4. Set the table for your husband and yourself. Say grace and begin to eat. The child will then be standing next to you begging for food. Do NOT dish out a plate for the child - it will just get cold and you will have to throw it out (because it is mixed with milk, water or juice) or store it with the rest of the leftovers later.

5. Offer your child some of your "Parent-Only" food. (The forbidden fruit always tastes the best to preschoolers - who knew?)

6. Child will eat so much of your dinner that there will be none left for you.

Repeat nightly as necessary for optimum results.

This diet can be used at restaurants, family functions, casual family dinners and anywhere that you have a preschooler available.

It is also a great way to get out of the following habit:

"Eat your dinner."

"Sit down and eat your dinner. "

"You will go to bed if you do not eat your dinner"

"Quit standing on your chair and eat your dinner."

"Seriously, you need to eat your dinner."

Repeat for over an hour.

How it works - By depriving oneself for the sake of the child, the parent is consuming less nighttime calories, thus going to bed with less unprocessed calories in their system. Parent is also relieving themselves of a lot of the indigestion and upset stomach that comes with dining with a child simply by not arguing with them to eat.

(Note - I am not a doctor and this diet is probably not recommended for those struggling to lose a lot of weight. It is a great way to get your newly picky eater to actual eat something besides dry cereal, fruit roll-ups, dirt and playdoh (WTF?).)

End your diet troubles, will-power struggles and dinner drama! Try it today!

1 comment:

  1. Awesome! Reverse Psychology works every time!


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