Sunday, March 13, 2011

No More Secrets

Yesterday was a bad day for me. In the midst of one of the more painful days of my disease, while caring for our daughter with Hubs away at work for the longest.shift.ever, I was certain that I would die.

And as I lay there, contemplating whether or not I was truly dying, I realized that Hubs has no information to be able to run this family. He knows the pin number for the ATM card, but not the password for the bank account. In fact, he does not know any of the passwords for any of the accounts that this family has - internet, NetFlix, electricity, phones, etc, etc.

Fortunately, I awoke this morning, the pain and swelling subsided and all worries over accounts and passwords were gone.

And then we got to church (late, by the way, if someone could please give me back my GD hour, I would really effing appreciate it).

Our church is going through a marriage series where we discuss intimacy and trust issues and attempt to grow closer through the word of God. This series has been really good for us and I was excited to hear today's message.

Our pastor is currently out of town, so today's message was lead by another pastor and she spoke with a couple from our church that had gone through a separation about 4 years ago. They talked about what it was like to get to the brink and how they were able to make it back from that.

One thing that the wife mentioned was that they have full disclosure. There are no more passwords on voicemail, e-mail, Facebook, Twitter, etc that the other one does not know. My first response was, "OMG, you mean no privacy?" I have thought about it all day.

I am faithful to my husband and I trust him, why can't I trust him with passwords and account ids? Why should I be keeping him out of this part of my life (our lives)? Do I think that somehow he will be angered by an e-mail I have sent or a comment I have made? And if I think that something I have said might violate his trust or make him angry, why I am writing it in the first place?

I want Hubs to be able to trust in me. I cannot expect him to trust me if I am withholding information from him.

Tonight, I am compiling a list, I am sealing it in an envelope and I am giving it all to him (and in a small way to God).

What he decides to do with it is up to him.


  1. I have all my passwords in a fire proof box along with strict instructions of what to write/post "from the grave" on all my twitter/facebook/blog/email accounts. We'll see. With my family I may just regret that decision. (They can be just as silly and sarcastic as me.)

  2. You won't know what they post anyway, unless that is a new level of Hell that hasn't been discovered yet. Oh, jeez...


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