Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Love the One You're With

Hubs and I are perfect opposites.

Where he loves to have a gigantic breakfast to begin his day, I prefer to not eat breakfast at all. He is a night owl, I am an early bird. He is passive aggressive, I guess I am just aggressive. He does not plan, schedule or budget, I am constantly making lists, schedules, calendars and budgets. He loves to go out to bars and socialize, I am quite happy to rent a movie and cuddle on the couch. In the personality arena, I am an A and he is my B.

Throughout our 17 year history together, he and I have always had differences. I have always thought, "When this thing or that thing happens, he will change and our lives will be perfect." And no matter how much anything has changed in our lives, Hubs is still the same solid guy that he has always been. Stable and sane as opposed to my craziness, he knows just when to back off or hold me close.

Now, in our 5th year of marriage, I have (finally!) discovered that he is not going to change, he doesn't need to. I married him knowing that he would sleep during the day, that his clothes may never find the laundry hamper on their own, that he may go out to a bar to blow off steam every now and again, that I would have to take care of our financial matters. I knew it all going in and I bought it.

I bought it because he is my perfect opposite. I bought it because on my Cruise Ship of Crazy, he is my anchor. I bought it because as I have watched him grow and mature from the 15 year old that had originally captured my heart, into the strong, faithful and charismatic 31 (almost 32!) year old that he is, I realized that a life without him in it would most likely be a more disastrous place to be. I bought it, because of all of the people on this planet, he is the one that is right for me.

I will not lie and say that we do not butt heads; it happens on an almost daily basis. I will not lie and say that there have not been times when my sharpened, dagger words did not attack him to his very soul. I will not lie and say that his actions haven't abused and tortured parts of my heart.

I will say that I could not have hand-picked a more perfect person to be my partner through this journey. He is supportive in everything that I do, and everything that I go through, on  a daily basis. He is an excellent father and cares for our daughter in ways that I had never guessed that he would.

He is the only man that I have ever fantasized about (people say that is weird, but we have been together since I was a senior in high school, I haven't really ever known anyone else like I know him).

While I could sit around and talk about "could haves" and "ifs", I prefer to focus on the one I am with, the one that I love more and more with every passing day - no matter how much I may gripe, complain, or yell.

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