Wednesday, October 19, 2011

A Halloween List

In honor of the fast approaching holiday (my personal favorite), I offer a list of what I have learned from '80's scary movies and how they have affected my parenting.

  1. Do not feed or water the small creatures after dark, unless you enjoy delayed bedtimes, late night play times or wet beds. 
  2. Do not try to walk quietly through the quiet house in the dark - sharp objects will impale tender areas of your body. 
  3. Do not sleep as soundly as you did in your youth - small creatures will awaken you with their screams, or worse, will just come in to your room silently, press their nose against yours and wait.
  4. Do not question what that fluid sitting in a bucket in the closet is - you really don't want to know. 
  5. Do not investigate that loud bang outside of your bedroom window in the middle of the night. Just hide under the covers, the covers will protect you. 
  6. When someone comes into the room screaming, and possibly bleeding, you really do not need to know what they did to cause it.
  7. That girl? The one that always seems so innocent? She is really the culprit. 
  8. When children tell you that there is a ghost in the house, believe them. 
  9. When you call out a name and no one answers, it's probably better not to know what is going on in there.

And finally...
  10.   When all else fails - go to the light.

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