He stole our trash can. It's gone.
And rather than waiting for him to bring it back or calling the trash people to bring a new one, we have decided to wait.
And drive the trash to work every morning where I throw it into the dumpster behind the building.
It seemed like a very good plan, a solid plan, a plan that would keep the bear off of the property, away from our house, prevent further littering of the woods directly across the street from our house, and allow us to devote the money that we typically pay to have the trash hauled away to other things that could use our attention. Like gas and food and the 19,000 other things that keep me up at night.
It was a good plan. I guess it still could be a good plan, except my boss caught me throwing my trash into the dumpster at Very Early O'Clock this morning and I was so flustered that I slammed the lid of the dumpster closed causing whatever juices accumulate under the lid of a dumpster to go flying into my face. (SIDE NOTE: Hand sanitizer on your face burns. It burns like a million tiny paper cuts. You know you want my life today.)
And all I can smell, all I have smelled all day is dumpster juice.
And on top of it all, my boss, who apparently does not mind the rotting smell of the dumpster clinging to his secretary like a hot, wet blanket, gave me that look today. The look that says, "I am totally being fed a line of BS right now about a bear and a trash can and country living..."
I can still use the dumpster though.
Which do you think is worse? Being thought a liar by your boss or feeding a bear every night?