Thursday, June 7, 2012

The Dowry

Does anyone know how many chickens and goats are involved with marrying off your daughter these days?

I mean the Supergirl is only 4, but I feel like if I am gonna have enough livestock to truly do her would-be suitor justice someday, I am going to need a pretty handsome flock.

Currently, we have one cat, one fish, and 6 chickens. I think that I should wait on the goats for the time being as I am certain that the Land Baron would not truly appreciate the necessity of the collection of livestock.

I could get the goats and put them at Aunt JoDene's house because I am mostly certain that she would not realize that they were there until they ate the fence and she saw her dogs standing in the driveway.

I could also just wait for the Farmer Brown to get goats, not take care of them and then adopt them when they move to our house, much like the chickens, but there is not really a guarantee that he will ever get goats and then I am kind of screwed.

Maybe, I will need to come up with other offerings. Something cooler, like a motorcycle or more handy, like a proven divining rod (since water will most likely be hard to come by given the almost 10 year drought that we have had around here) or a bunker for the eventuality of the Zombie-pocalypse that my friend Fonso assures me is coming, but that I have yet to buy into.*

*By the way, about the Zombie-pocalypse, is anyone else concerned that the only people willing to fight against the Zombies are all techno-geeks that play a lot of video games? What are they going to do "systems" the Zombies to death?  Where are all the manly men that build things and shoot things? Cause those are the guys that I think I would rather have near me when it all comes down. Not just because they would probably be a more appealing snack, but also because they could be useful until they get eaten.

If you have any expertise in marrying off your daughter (or are interested in getting your son in on this sweet dowry deal) let me know and we can work out some arrangements.

Just know though, if it comes down to your son or my daughter against Zombies, I am probably gonna pick her.

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