Monday, June 11, 2012

Authenticity vs. Verbal Diarrhea

I like to think that I am an authentic person. And in most ways, in most situations, that is accurate. I am the same person when I am being a secretary as I am when I am working in a parts house as I am when I am being a wife and a mother. With me, what you see is what you get. For better or worse.

The problem is that I have a hard time quantifying that authenticity with the lack of filter that I seem to have on my mouth. It's not that I am walking around cussing people out, or being loud for no reason - but, given the opportunity to actual speak about myself or my family, I find that I tend to release a whole lot of information all at once on rather unsuspecting people that are obviously, almost painfully, trying to find a way to escape my verbal diarrhea.

This usually happens with strangers. At first I come off as witty and smart (maybe?), but give me the 5 minutes too long that I need to muck it up and I will.

What really happens when I speak...
I actually had this happen last night at a community group. It started with an innocent statement and the next thing I know I am STILL talking like 30 minutes later while the people sitting close to me are laughing uncomfortably and making eyes at their spouses to come and save them.

I know that I am sucking up all of the conversation in the room. I feel like I am sucking up all the oxygen. I am silently begging myself to PLEASE STOP TALKING FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. And yet, my mouth just continues to go on. And on and on.

I am starting to think that rather than being in a community group for church, I might want to look for a metal health recovery group. At least those people would want to hear all of my crazy rather than just being punished by it. I thought that might seem a bit needy though, to have a bunch of people in a room just listen to my own personal brand of crazy stream from out of nowhere.

I don't think that I do this out of nervousness, perhaps being a bit over eager to share my story and get them to share their stories with me.

Although, I am not sure when they actually get a chance to share their stories because my mouth will not just stop moving. I am thinking that the next time I fast, maybe I should fast from talking. I am fairly certain that God needs me to take a break in the silence and think about my motivation to fill up all of the space with so much noise.


Duct tape comes in all different colors, perhaps I should just invest in some.

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  1. This is a great post and it's awesome that you're even aware that you do this. Maybe you could share this with the people in your group. Ask them to give you a "sign" when you've got the VD (verbal diarrhea). And you're right, you are authentic. I love that!

  2. I am sometimes guilty of this myself. To make it even worse, when I realize I'm doing it, I'll start speaking faster, like I'm trying really hard to get to the end, but keep going, so now I'm just rambling really fast LOL. [#TALU]

  3. I sometimes do this too. And I repeat myself. While I'm talking, I can hear myself repeating myself but rather than saying "oh right and I said that already" and shutting up, I just keep going. Gah. Tee hee to the duct tape. At least there are some pretty colors.

  4. hahahahaha - oh my! I have sat next to people(ahem)like you before. Seriously though, embrace your outgoing-ness. You may find some people who want to get away but I guarantee you, you will also find those people who LOOK for someone like you. YOU are the ice breaker introverts look for. Trust me, I KNOW. (talu)


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