Wednesday, November 16, 2011


There are days that I am just filled with this inexplicable sadness.

There is no reason for it. Or a million maybe.

I am just sad.

The sadness consumes me, my thoughts, my body. I focus on things I know that I shouldn't and the sadness multiplies. I want to cry, but the tears that feel like they are hanging precariously close to the edge just will not come. I mope, eyes down, quiet while my mind rages and races.

It's been a long time since I felt this way.

But I will not let the sadness win this battle. The kid needs me to function on all cylinders.

And then she says something so funny, so enlightening and I know that it will be okay.

"Wow, Momma!", she exclaims as she brushes my hair (a new obsession with her that I let her brush my hair, until she hurts me, she always hurts me). "All of these white hairs on your head are so POWERFUL!"

Powerful, even at my weakest, she sees me as powerful, sees the signs of me aging as a super power.

How could I still be sad?

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