Being a Girl

Z is such a girl.

Not about the bugs she slaps and kills with an open hand.

Or the thousands of pounds of sand that she carries into my home on a daily basis.

Or her love affair with sticks, leaves, and "special rocks".

She loves makeup, perfume, hairbows and dresses. Ruffles and sparkly shoes, anything pink, purple or glittering catches her eye and makes her practically swoon with lust. "I want it, momma. I NEED it", she pleads as I lead her from the aisle and on to the next "treasure".

Her grandmother, whose only child is the Hubs, adores buying her fancy dresses - the kind of dresses that rich girls wear to tea. And they are lovely with their delicate lace trim, embroidered flowers, sashes and bows - a bit too proper for everyday use, they are reserved for special occasions, or dress up time with the dolls.

Scare Bear, also the mother of a boy, brings her cute everyday dresses. She delights in the idea that she now has a girl that she can dress.

And Z thrives in it, twirling and dancing.

Right now, I am happy that she is girl. Even in diva mode, it is controllable, but I am cringing at the reality that in the not too distant future, she will be a teenager. A girl teenager, with raging hormones and a mind blinded by boys and drama and the taunts of the girls that are jealous of her.

I will be left to explain bodily functions to her that I only slightly grasp now. And that gossip is a sin, even when it seems fun. And that pimples and glasses and uncool clothes are all part of what every teenager goes through. And she will be mortified, she will be embarrassed, she will think that her life is over.

And there will be a boy whose attention she never gets. A boy that she will long for every single day as he dates girls that she thinks are better than her or prettier than her. And she will feel her heart breaking and it will hurt.

And that part of being a girl really, really sucks.

These experiences will make her grow. They will mature her, smooth out some of the rough edges, focus her on the important things in life. She will grow into a strong, assertive, confident young woman.

And as hard as it will be to watch it all go down, I will be right there, guiding her, screaming at her, and locking her in her room until she is 30 - because it is just too damn important and I can't handle the pressure anymore.