Not too long ago, the Hubs quit his job and for the better part of a year took to our couch and hung out. Dishes were still unwashed, laundry was still undone, and the bills were still unpaid. While I worked two jobs Monday - Saturday from 7 AM until 9 PM each day, he watched a lot of TV, played a lot of video games and hung out with his other friends that had no jobs.
I tried to be patient, to hold my tongue, to not let him know how upset by his actions I was - and while I was busy trying to hold it all together, no one else was mentioning it either. In fact, we barely heard from family members that live less than 20 minutes from us. No phone calls, no random visits, nothing.
Now that the shoe is on the other foot, I have received several phone calls and e-mails from certain members of our extended family wanting to know what I was going to do, how I was going to fix this problem for our family. Should I mention a desire of wanting to just take a few months to just hang out with my daughter, or be a stay at home mom, I am met with with silent judgement before the next statement comes spilling through the phone, "You need to work, your family is in no position to have you not working, you need to find a job."
How is it that the same person that they raised, is not only allowed, but encouraged to not work - and yet, if I mention a threat to my position in life, I am met with criticism, cynicism, and judgement - as though I have somehow earned this problem?
Honestly, right now, I need people to have faith and trust in me. I need them to know that I can handle this problem the same way that I have always handled issues that have cropped up in our life. I need everyone to back off and let me be the adult that I have been raised to be. It's all that I know how to be.
Please, if you cannot do that, please just leave me (and my family) alone for a bit so that I can do it - because negativity, judgments, criticism have no place in my process.