Nothing less...

I can't wait for Father's Day, 'cause, man, the Hubs is gonna get it.

First, I will make sure that he has to wake up super early to do something very mundane - like, I don't know, fix the water heater.

Next, I will make sure we take two cars to church so that on the way to lunch I will have a chance to swing by a drugstore and pick one of the last remaining Father's Day cards. Of course, I will sign it while driving so it will be largely illegible - but I know he will love it. I will stop at the nearest gas station and find him something completely irrelevant to our life. A can of baby formula or a Scorpio key chain - something that has nothing to do with the life we lead. And of course, it will cost no more than $5 because, well, just because.

Then, I will insist that we go to a lunch at one of the priciest (and busiest) restaurants in town and then forget my debit card so that he will be forced to pay for my feast. While at lunch, I will make sure that Z has lots of sugared up drinks to make sure that she is ultra-jumpy

As a surprise, I will give him tickets to something that he is not really that interested in. Something like a tractor pull or drag racing. For that afternoon, because who plans these kinds of things really? Who cares that he is wearing nice church clothes? All the better. No one will judge.

Of course, I will only give him two tickets so that he will have to sit in a dark and precarious place while Z throws tantrums and attempts (several times) to hurl herself down the balcony stairs and he will have no back up. She will subsequently scream as he tries to wrestle her back into a seat before collapsing into a sugar-induced un-wakeable coma so that he will have to walk through the blazingly hot summer parking lot carrying all 45 pounds of her dead weight.

Finally, when he thinks that he may be able to relax when he gets home, I will make sure that I am at a friends house for the afternoon. One of those friends that lives deep in the country where there is no cell phone signal. Just to give the two of them some quality time on his special day.

It's because I love him SO much. He makes me feel SO special and SO wonderful, that I would give him nothing, NOTHING less than what he deserves.