Sunday, June 12, 2011

Lack of Concern

People are preoccupied with concern over my lack of a job situation. They pray for me to find a job, they pray that I hear back about the jobs that I have applied. They worry and fret about the silliest things as though somehow my child will go without clothes (FYI: I have never had to buy clothes for my child - she has a lot of friends whose children outgrow clothes at just the right time. Right now, I can not put another article of clothing into her dresser or closet. Clothes are not an issue. In fact, the people who inherit clothes from Z, often remark about the fantastic condition they are in, since she rarely wears clothes more than once or twice.)

I am not concerned.

In fact, since arriving in my new unemployed state, I have given very little thought to finding another job. I have tried to be concerned, I have tried to care - but I just cannot find it in me to really give two pennies towards stressing about it.

"It is useless for you to work so hard 
from early morning until late at night, 
anxiously working for food to eat; 
for God gives rest to his loved ones."
~Psalm 127:2 (New Living Translation)

My lack of action, of concern, may be caused by the still small voice inside of me. Healing me, telling me to rest, telling me to bide my time. 

I am not depressed, as I thought I would be, I am not anxious (as most feel that I should be), I am neither nervous nor afraid (which is new for me). I am rather excited to begin this new chapter in our lives. A chapter in which I will be able to get to know my daughter in all of her glory, a chapter in which I will get to see my husband grow into the leader that I have longed for him to be, a chapter that may see my house become cleaner and more organized than ever before. 

This is not the time to stress. I have another paycheck still to arrive, a severance check after that. I qualify for the unemployment that I have spent the last cabillion years paying into, if I really pushed the issue with my medical history I could probably also qualify for Social Security. This is not the time to panic. 

This is the time to rest, to heal, to prepare for the blessings that God is going to send our way. 

And that is what I am going to do.

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  1. This particular rant of yours just made my day. I have not been praying for you to find a job, I have been praying that you find peace in being unemployed. Quitting my job months ago was the best thing that has ever happened to me as a Mommy and a Wife. I can now do all of the things I imagined I would do with Elijah and as you said, still have time to clean my house! I often refer to the verse you provided also... on days that I feel I should be doing the "American" thing, working 9 to 5 while my child is raised in a daycare, making barely enough to pay the daycare. You rock, Heather. Enjoy this, the Lord will provide!! -Angela

  2. amen! I am so trying to be at peace with my life and all that is going on right now, I hope I can follow suite.


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