A Day of Blah

I am so blah today.

I don't know what to write or even who to direct it to. I want to be funny, cute, perhaps a bit inspiring, but I cannot find the words, cannot put the idea onto paper (or computer screen rather).

There are a thousand and one things that I can attribute my blah to.

I could blame it on Scare Bear (who I desperately want to rename RaRa because it's what a baby Z called her and it ended too abruptly, but she would prefer to be called the Scare Bear since it sounds so dangerous). I could say that it is because of this blog that I miss her so very very much. While she gets her daily dose of me, I am missing a vital part of my life - her laugh, her smile, the way she starts to tell a story and then just drops into a completely different line of conversation, often mid-sentence.

I could blame it on missing her boy. Now that he is cool and 6 and a kindergartner with a dog, well, he doesn't love me anymore. He doesn't want to come over and snuggle on the couch to watch movies the way he did just a few short months ago. Now he wants to be called Blade because, like his momma, he yearns for danger as well.

I could blame it on Z. I could say it's because she has finally gotten ankles and it scares me to death, because the baby fat rolls are disappearing and she is becoming a big kid, a real kid that doesn't care about holding her momma's hand so tight anymore. That she does not turn and look for me when she runs away, even if I am calling after her. The independence in her steps, the way she navigates through this world, it gets a little stronger everyday. I miss the baby that clung to me against the evil Easter Bunny, the little girl that cried in terror at the mall Santa.

Look at her face!!!

(Funny Story - completely off track: Took Z to see the Easter Bunny at the mall this weekend. When we started to walk into the mall, she stops, looks at the building, looks at me and says, "Why are we visiting the Easter Bunny at Santa's house?" Go ahead and laugh, I'll wait.)

Or I could blame it on Mother Nature, because the B snuck up on me again and arrived 4 days earlier than I had planned on.

And I think that's what I am going to go ahead and do. Have a non-blah Monday kiddies, hopefully I will have something better for you tomorrow.