I don't know what to write or even who to direct it to. I want to be funny, cute, perhaps a bit inspiring, but I cannot find the words, cannot put the idea onto paper (or computer screen rather).
There are a thousand and one things that I can attribute my blah to.
I could blame it on Scare Bear (who I desperately want to rename RaRa because it's what a baby Z called her and it ended too abruptly, but she would prefer to be called the Scare Bear since it sounds so dangerous). I could say that it is because of this blog that I miss her so very very much. While she gets her daily dose of me, I am missing a vital part of my life - her laugh, her smile, the way she starts to tell a story and then just drops into a completely different line of conversation, often mid-sentence.
I could blame it on missing her boy. Now that he is cool and 6 and a kindergartner with a dog, well, he doesn't love me anymore. He doesn't want to come over and snuggle on the couch to watch movies the way he did just a few short months ago. Now he wants to be called Blade because, like his momma, he yearns for danger as well.
I could blame it on Z. I could say it's because she has finally gotten ankles and it scares me to death, because the baby fat rolls are disappearing and she is becoming a big kid, a real kid that doesn't care about holding her momma's hand so tight anymore. That she does not turn and look for me when she runs away, even if I am calling after her. The independence in her steps, the way she navigates through this world, it gets a little stronger everyday. I miss the baby that clung to me against the evil Easter Bunny, the little girl that cried in terror at the mall Santa.
|Look at her face!!!|
Or I could blame it on Mother Nature, because the B snuck up on me again and arrived 4 days earlier than I had planned on.
And I think that's what I am going to go ahead and do. Have a non-blah Monday kiddies, hopefully I will have something better for you tomorrow.