Monday, April 18, 2011

The Nekkid Truth

If you saw Z this weekend, mostly likely you saw her awesome smile, heard her infectious laugh, caught a glimpse of her curls bouncing in the breeze. And if you saw her at all this weekend, you probably also saw more of her than you may have wanted to.

My little exhibitionist has no inhibitions regarding nudity. She has no problem dropping trow to pee, stripping because she is too hot, showing off her "rock star" panties, or exhibiting to her 6 year old cohorts why girls are different than boys.

On Saturday while we were hanging invitations to our church's Easter Sunday services, she was seen taking her shorts off in the middle of a stranger's yard because she had to pee. Once we arrived home that afternoon, her clothes were completely removed before I even unloaded the groceries into the refrigerator. Later, when I explained to her that she had to put on clothes because Blade was coming over - she cried and sat in time out because she refused to get dressed.

After Blade arrived, the show continued. Even though I had successfully redressed her in a very cute dress, she then had to reveal to Scare Bear and Blade that she was wearing "rock star" panties. Off came the dress once again, and there was my rock star giving an impromptu nearly naked dance recital in the middle of the living room.

Sunday morning, when informed that she needed to shower before church, an naked Z begged to Blade to "please, please, please" take a shower with her. I squashed that conversation and wrestled her into the shower.

After leaving church, where she once again gave a full show of her "rock star" panties, we headed over to the restaurant where the Hubs works to grab a bite to eat. Once again, the dress was being raised and the conversation was centered around her "rock star" panties. At one point, Blade turned to me, sighed dramatically and said, "Can't you people do anything to keep that girl's clothes on?" (He is six by the way, everything we do and say lately embarrasses him to pieces.)

From there we were off to the park to meet up with a photographer and A to have some pictures taken of the little stripper and her 6 year old cohorts, but before we had even completely unloaded from the car, her pink sweater was laying in the parking lot. I shook my head, threw the sweater in the backseat and grabbed the girl's hand.

"I wanna change my dress", she whined. So yes, right there in the middle of the park in front of all of the other families (and, quite possibly, the Governor), she stripped down to her "rock star" panties for a quick change, while Blade looked on shaking his head and glaring disapprovingly in our direction.

When we finally made it back home, I was tired of battling this fight. I felt like I had been perusing skin magazines all weekend, I honestly could not see anymore. I gave the children popsicles, a bucket of soapy water to wash my car and the water hose.

Suddenly, my front yard, my peaceful little sanctuary with the vegetable garden and good grass was transformed into the chaos of 3 nearly naked (and naked) bodies spraying each other with first the hose and then the sprinkler. The squeals of laughter as they were shot in the face, or slid in the mud, or danced beneath an arc of fine mist of the upturned hose was contagious, and I stood there with my cold drink in hand, enjoying the heat of the April sun on my face, smiling.

When Scare Bear arrived to collect Blade, they were covered in sand and mud, dripping wet and exhausted. I ushered the three of them into the shower so that I could quickly hose them off, towel them dry and get them redressed for a snack of pizza and fruit punch.

And then out of the mouth of my 3 year old pin up girl to her much older friends, "Boys have stringy bottoms, girls have flat bottoms. That's why boys can't ever sit still, your bottom is not flat."

Both boys looked to me confused as I lifted the rosy cheeked Z out of the shower and engulfed her in a towel. I shook my head and kissed her nose and for the 30,165th time this weekend said, "Please go put on some clothes."

I have no idea why they are rock star panties. I just know that they are. And Scare Bear bought them, so you should ask her, whenever she decides to be part of the grid or whatever. 


  1. This makes me smile. My little one thinks that she has to get naked to dance! She starts removing her clothes saying, "I wanna dance!" Lord have mercy on us!!!!! =)

  2. I love it. My sister has warned me her son would strip off his diaper and underwear forever and chase his siblings around holding himself. I soooo wonder if my little boy will prefer the nude beach over the public one ;)


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