Ever since I was 10, I have known that I have worms.
It explains everything so completely to me. It's all about the worms really.
When I was 10, I was watching some daytime TV show that was talking about how people can go for many, many years while parasites are slowly eating, reproducing and disintegrating them from the inside out. How most people don't even know that they have them until they just suddenly drop dead. They got them from walking barefoot outside (which I still do to this day, but see, I am already infected) or from eating things that were not refrigerated properly (how could it have been, when 6 people were in the refrigerator 24/7?).
From that moment on, I cold feel them, see them everywhere, throughout my body, on my eyeballs, hear them rustling around in my ears.
I was not just clumsy, the worms were multiplying in my brain and destroying my equilibrium.
I was not just an average kid that caught 3-4 colds per year, obviously the worms were using my sinus cavity as a nesting ground for their eggs.
The social awkwardness that has always made me feel as though I was on the outside looking in at all of the clean, shiny, happy, normal people of the Earth? It was the worms eating away at my soul.
In the last 3 years, since developing my illness (that I know is really just wreckage from the worms) I have been tested, poked, prodded, MRId, endoscopied, CT scanned, X-rayed and ultrasounded. They have yet to find the sneaky little boogers. I try not to say appointment times out loud, in the hopes that the worms will not catch wind, just this once, and someone will finally find them.
When I die and they autopsy my body, they will finally discover them. And then everyone will know, it was really just the worms after all.
(S enjoyed my post about losing my job so much and felt that it shows my psychotic nature so clearly that she encouraged me to tell you about more of my neurotic fears. She says that they make her laugh.)