It starts with a thought. One little innocuous thought, about dinner or a news story.
I make a call, no answer. Hmmm, must be busy.
I try again about ten minutes later, still no answer.
Thirty minutes later, I'm calling again. Damn voicemail.
Now I am starting to get antsy, starting to worry. Imagine child shaking a sleeping daddy, crying. Or sitting in front of the bathroom cabinet staring at the bottles of window, toilet bowl or shower cleaner, contemplating which to drink first.
Calling. Calling. Calling.
Why aren't they answering the phone?
Visions of handcuffs, of jail time, of a car being impounded, of social workers being called to attend to the child. My mind is going into overdrive with worry, fear, panic, guilt.
Calling friends, family. Have you heard from? Do you know where?
Visions of bodies hanging out of car windows, emergency personnel scrambling to figure out who to call, what to do.
Finally, the phone rings.
"I left my phone in the car, what do you need?"
"I was just wondering what you wanted for dinner."