What ever happened to Ebola?
Apparently, it is still running amok in the world. I say apparently because I am certain that I have contracted Ebola (it's either that or the worms).
Why, momma, why do you believe it is Ebola? Great question, dear reader. Ebola liquefies everything and (believe me) everything in my body has been liquefied. I have spent the last 12 hours of my life curled into a fetal position, quarantined under a blanket on the couch alternately shaking with fever or racing to the bathroom to release the definitively liquefied insides of my being. I am pretty sure nothing could have survived.
But, momma, I have read your recent posts and you make no mention of a safari to the wilds of Africa. You are correct, I have not been to Africa, not recently, not ever. I have, in fact, just been in the confines of my own home,
Momma, you let your child go to Africa without you? Nope. That would probably never happen (not even when she is grown and on her own, she owes me after giving me Ebola - she will take my ashes with her wherever she may go). My child attends a
Do you really think you might die? I may already be dead, judging by my appearance.
I get that I probably just have a stomach flu. I get that it might not really be as bad as I feel right now. I understand that most likely it is
But the next time that Z gets sick, I am enclosing her in her room, covering the door to her room in plastic and I am not letting her come back out until her head quits spinning. She'll survive - she has to take me to Africa.
*Until now, because you know what cures a sick child? When their mother gets sick. It's been scientifically proven. They will stay sick, until you feel completely terrible. Then? Then they are fine, then they have all of their energy back and are climbing up the damn walls. Try it. I guarantee it.